Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
