Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
