508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
