Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sorry about my life...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
how does that bad decision feel?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
