I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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