Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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