Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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