i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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