How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
