Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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