i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
