youre lurking in front of me
too bad you live with your parents still
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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