The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
