So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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