I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
