I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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