went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
