it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
