I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
