I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
