Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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