she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
