Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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