She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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