Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
