I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
