Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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