it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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