Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i think my cat just said my name.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
