i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
