Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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