I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
