Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
