More tranny stories later!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
