you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
