When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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