It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
