3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
