No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
