Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
