So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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