Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
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