He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
