Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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