Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
