Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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