thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
