Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
