good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
