gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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