I wish you could order shots online.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
