Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
